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HOT SEX ARTICLES
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The limits of normality and abnormality in sexuality Perversity? What is perversity and how is that? When is a thing considered pervert and when is it considered normal? Here is a question that best suited the last century. Meanwhile a lot of things have changed in the social frame, so this question is quite useless. And when I say useless, this is first of all generated by the "laicization" of the sex act. Pervert is something that breaks the fixed boundaries. But, nowadays, we aren’t talking about fixed boundaries, but of a couple which agrees or not to a certain act.
"I wish to have anal sex, but she refuses. I keep wishing. Does that make me abnormal?" This is one man’s problem. In fact, the main problem is not the desire itself, but the fact that there is a refusal from the partner. A refusal he cannot understand and which seems to be an attack at his own person. The problem is that the refusal doesn’t come with any explanations. When there is an explanation, things seem logical. But how can there be an explanation when the other person doesn’t even try to understand why he/she refuses? A normal sex act is considered that which includes vaginal penetration made by a man with his penis. This is a belief that has been made and structured with the help of the church. Some papers (especially those of Foucault), summarize the intervention of the church in the purpose of control inside the couple. But besides this historical aspect, there are a lot of people who consider nowadays that the sex act means penetration and any other approach is considered abnormal. The positive effect is a clear and simple belief about sexuality that resumes to an act which allows for fecundation. Which is the negative effect then? The incapacity to see other forms of manifestation, the impossibility to isolate the sex act from the fecundation one. Very often this belief which concerns the sexual act is present at those who suffer from precocious ejaculation. It is hard to say if this connection between precocious ejaculation and sexuality seen only as penetration is true or not, but it seems quite possible and logical. In fact, the vaginal penetration works like a “cultural can” – in the sense of a scheme designed to understand the world. When this can exists, there also appears the anxiety feeling that a person senses when is confronted with any scheme. When it doesn’t work, from any reason, there isn’t a plan B and the feeling of a sexual problem appears. When the basis of the sexual problem inside a man’s mind rises, there also appear psychological sexual problems. What could a man do when penetration doesn’t work anymore? He could find other types of erection, waiting for the difficult moment to pass. But in order to do this, he should take into consideration the fact that the sexual act contains other elements as well.
How far can the capacity of sexual expression go? Today, in order to understand the “sexual boundaries” we have to look outside psychology. What could be truly unacceptable for society? There are ideas that have been discussed during the last century, written by some people who have dedicated a lot of their time to these problems. But there are some contexts when the cultural can of penetration becomes a condemned thing, not only by the public opinion, but by the justice in any civilized country. First of all, there are some things which are written in the penal code. Rape for example is an act which is done without the consent of the partner. For this reason, rape is considered to be an act of violence. To act against your partner’s will is an act which you cannot accept as it is because it breaks the right to choice a person has. Naturally, most people have an image about the rape. Rape is an important theme which can easily bring attention. And the newspapers know this very well. But why are people so interested about this topic? Maybe because there is something inside them that reasons at acts of this kind. The rape fantasy is a very general one. I can’t say that all the people have it, but I can’t say that only a category of people fantasize about this fact either. I read somewhere that in the US, around ten years ago an organization was formed which stated that “no man can rape a woman without the woman challenging him.” Rape is an act which results after some attraction. The one who is guilty for this act is a question which should be answered in a court, not on this virtual page. What is important from the psychological point of view is that if a person fantasizes about rape, this is not a psychological matter; it is only a fantasy that deserves being analyzed and understood. The problems appear only when the person cannot handle the fantasy. If that person has either an attempt of rape or rapes someone, in this case we talk about a control problem and a lack of lucidity, because an emotional plan interferes with the reality plan and overcomes it. It is as if the logical mind which sees the reality would be flooded by an emotional tendency which it cannot hide. If a person gets to the point of raping someone, it is also a sign of incapacity. Violence itself is an act of a person’s incapacity to solve a problem. I can’t make the other understand me, so the only option is violence. Because a person can’t convince another person to agree to a sexual act, he gets into action to achieve his purpose. It is in fact the ultimate solution. In this context, sexual aggression receives various elements. In the act of rape, the person who is being raped has her own fault. Either through her attitude, a state of emotional block, or the incapacity to find a decent way to solve it, or an acceptance of the act, she contributes to the fulfilling of such an act. A frequent idea on this topic is that no man has enough physical strength to carry on an act of rape. Rape can be analyzed from many perspectives, but it is important to understand that it has logical, psychological, sexual, and situational causes. If rape is only a fantasy, it is a natural state. If it is an act, it is both a legal and a psychological problem. Rape is a special state which shows, in most of the situations the incapacity to handle a situation. And here, the causes are not only at the rapist, but at the raped as well.
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